Sometimes I want to go back......

So I am in the village for the weekend where I lived with my grandparents for quite awhile. We made a trip into Hot Springs and on the way back into the village I thought about what it was like when I lived here.

The years I lived here were some of my most messed up years of my life. Lots of drugs, a couple of really sick relationships, I struggled thru school and barely got thru.....however that doesn't mean I hated my life necessarily. I was screwed up but I felt like I knew what I was doing if that makes sense.

Now, several years later I am living in Little Rock and I finally have a steady job--part-time only but steady. I am with a man who doesn't beat up on me or cook dope and he has a job. We are both clean and sober and pay our bills and do all the stuff normal ppl do.

Still, I can't help it.....I feel like I don't know what I am doing most of the time. I feel like I am acting in a play or something. It is uncomfortable and new to me in so many ways. I hope with time this will change........

My first post

I don't know what I will do with this blog.......We will just have to see